Writing and Reading at Slate's Double X

A few weeks ago I was thrilled to receive an email from Hanna Rosin that Slate's Double X was interested in a piece I was working on about a variety of former Miss America contestants running for political office. Today it's a feature at the online magazine, focusing on the history of the Pageant and the politics of its contestants. Double X has been providing some of the best commentary on Anne-Marie Slaughter's much-talked about Atlantic piece, "Why Women Still Can't Have It All," which you almost certainly have read by now.  Rosin is a co-founder of Double X and she's a Contributing Editor at the Atlantic. You know who she is if you watched the video interview embedded in the online version of Slaughter's story because she's the interviewer.

Many people have asked me what I think about Slaughter's piece.  But after reading what feels like hundreds of articles, Facebook comments, Tweets, and blog entries about it, I've been hesitant only because I'm not sure I have anything particularly new to say about it. (Has anyone mentioned how cute the toddler in the briefcase is before? More compelling than the breastfeeding boy on the cover of Time, right?)

In all seriousness though when I read Slaughter's story last Thursday I felt it so keenly that I started to cry. This isn't an unusual reaction among many highly credentialed moms I know.

But then I realized how lucky I am. Lucky to have a flexible job, lucky to have a husband who is a highly committed father. (Then, because I'm a new mommy who grew up with Catholic and Jewish parents, I started to feel guilty that in my early 30s I can make choices that hopefully help make all family members happy. And so it goes on and on...)

One topic I was surprised Slaughter didn't cover is breastfeeding. It's a hot topic, as the Time cover showed, and Rosin knows well having written one of the other most controversial Atlantic stories, The Case Against Breast-Feeding. While I was doing research and writing the Slate piece I had to carefully time things between nursing sessions for five-month-old Carston. One night, when my phone rang unexpectedly to do an interview right after his dinner, my husband (who I should mention is a professor with a flexible work schedule) happily and willingly took charge.  But the reality is that when you're breastfeeding, even if you pump sometimes (which I do), no matter how helpful your partner is, the weight is squarely on your shoulders all the time.

When I had to shift interview times around to accommodate my son's needs I didn't really specify why. After reading Rosin's article on Double X last week making the case that women shouldn't be ashamed to say when we are doing things for our kids, I realized she was right. So when I had to take a break while corresponding with the editor at Double X to nurse my son I decided to explain my slight delay in replying to emails.  She replied that she had to leave soon to take care of a sick child.  Life happens, family matters, and we still got our work done.

For the moment that's having it all-- and more-- for me (and this little guy, who got to enjoy the ocean and the beach for the first time over the weekend).  We also started weaning a week ago and he seems to be doing just fine, don't you think?

A New England Beauty Queen: Miss Rhode Island wins Miss USA at Last

The drought is over. It's been 61 years and Rhode Island finally got a Miss USA (note they haven't yet had a Miss America). Last night Olivia Culpo was crowned Miss USA.

I had a lot of fun watching the pageant (and live tweeting) and RI was a standout from the beginning. Her gown was gorgeous, especially the color-- as was her face-- and she answered her final question with aplomb.

What was that final question? It was about the pageant, of course. If you recall a few months ago the Miss Canada Pageant had to deal with controversy when a transgendered contestant was first denied and then reinstated as a competitor (I wrote about this and linked to some press coverage here). So Culpo was asked, "Would you feel it would be fair for a transgender woman to win the Miss USA title over a natural-born woman?" Her response: "I do think that that would be fair, but I can understand that people would be a little apprehensive to take that road because there is a tradition of natural-born women.  But today where there are so many surgeries and so many people out there who have a need to change for a happier life, I do accept that because I believe it’s a free country."

The whole Miss USA Pageant this year was both meta and self-referential. It was a pop culture smorgasbord with too many reality television stars to count. On the judges' panel alone there was a Kardashian, an Apprentice, a Bachelorette-- need I go on? And Giuliana Rancic of E! and her own reality show fame (note she married another reality TV star, Bill Rancic, Trump's first winner of The Apprentice) along with Andy Cohen, Bravo exec and host of Watch What Happens Live!, co-hosted.  Rancic wore three dresses, one with an aspirational Jolie leg slit; needless to say, in general, her dresses dominated the questionable pageant styles donned for the telecast (particularly the Sherri Hill monstrosities "modeled" during the Parade of States).

The final questions were the real pop culture test. Out of the five three referenced pageantry-- the transgendered contestant query for RI, another mentioning Toddlers & Tiaras, and the most amazing referred to an embarrassing clip from Cohen's WWHL that showed several contestants unable to name Biden as the VP (and the contestant explained how the girls just "misanswered").  One of the others about women in movies and TV made a strange reference to Pretty Woman, which also has a T&T link after Paisley appeared in her "prostitot" streetwalker costume.

Not nearly as bad as the Miss SC Teen fiasco from a few years ago though (to relive that gem, click here).

I do have to say that I hated it when the outgoing Miss USA pulled out a "factoid" that is meant to apply to the Miss America Pageant (although, statistically speaking, I suppose it could apply to both pageants). Alyssa Campanella said that parents have a better chance of having a son play in a Superbowl than a daughter who wins Miss USA. I've been using this for some time (I first wrote about it in 2007) and I know it is supposed to refer to Miss America. Let's keep our pageant systems straight ladies!

The next stop for Olivia Culpo won't be a return to her dorm room at Boston University-- at 20 she just finished her sophomore year.  Instead she'll be in New York starting to make appearances and prepare for Miss Universe.  Despite Culpo's beauty it's hard to imagine that she'll be able to stand up with the tall international queens, but you never know! I'm curious why she opted for Miss USA and not Miss America (given that she has a talent beyond being able to tie a cherry stem with her tongue, which is playing the cello).  Pageant watchers, was she "too beautiful" for the Miss America system? In any event, she's ended her state's drought and taken her own rightful place in the pop culture pantheon.

Bully for Beauty: In the Press

This past week I was thrilled to appear on NECN's Morning Show to talk about issues in the lives of today's high schoolers (from the celebratory to the traumatic)-- and what parents and educators can do to help. Bullying is a major issue for kids today, and the new documentary Bully was the impetus for the below conversation (I personally find it interesting, horrifying, and heartening that the filmmakers intervened when the bullying of one boy became too dangerous [imagine how bad it must have been when cameras weren't present...]).

Prom is supposed to be a fun occasion, but it can also be problematic thanks to bullying and conflict with adults over proper attire. Some schools have started to clearly spell out rules on proper attire for males and females. In the below segment I talk about some of the sources of "sexy" dress trends for girls, and what parents can do.

And, just so you know I wasn't exaggerating about kicking off my high heels to dance and have fun, here's proof. I actually encouraged guests to do the same! You see, I try to be a fun academic and not a fuddy-duddy complaining about "cut-outs" in dresses. I really do like sequins just as much as the next girl...

Another girl who likes sequins? Jenna Talackova. Talackova, a 23-year-old beauty pageant contestant, made international headlines recently when she was denied a spot in the upcoming Miss Canada Universe pageant. Why? Talackova was born a boy and pageant organizers intimated she lied about this-- though she is a female on all official legal documents and she has undergo sexual reassignment surgery. When I spoke with French-Canadian reporter Catherine Lalonde last week for her story (for a rough English translation from the French, click here), I predicted that Trump would ultimately allow Talackova to compete because he loves publicity (as does Gloria Allred, of course, who is now involved).

I was right. Trump announced this week that Jenna was welcome to compete. I'm now predicting the biggest ratings for Miss Canada Universe. Ever.

This would never happen if Talackova was trying to compete in the Miss America Pageant. As I explain in the article, Miss Universe/USA split from Miss America when Miss America refused to be crowned in a bathing suit. Ever since then Miss Universe has had a sexier image. Miss America has tried to project a "girl-next-door" image that is reinforced by its famous morality clause, started by pageant legend Lenora Slaughter. This morality clause got a work-out, and an expansion, after Vanessa Williams was famously dethroned for posing in pictures with another woman in sexual positions. So, yeah, I don't think Miss America will *ever* have a transgender contestant. They have had contestants who were openly gay, but never any major state winners (that is not to say there haven't potentially been lesbian title holders, just that they were/are not open about their sexuality).

I hope Jenna Talackova wasn't too bullied when she was growing up-- and I bet she wore a pretty amazing dress to her prom. I just hope it passed muster with her school's dress code!

Kelsey Beck: An Ivy League Beauty with Pageant Roots (from Huffington Post/Stylelist)

This article originally appeared on The Huffington Post/Stylelist Children often join the family business, and these days kids end up following in their parents' footsteps in variety of fields. Mitt Romney followed his father into politics. Ivanka and Don Jr. joined the Trump family business, appearing in the latest incarnation of Celebrity Apprentice. Superbowl MVP Eli Manning followed in his father's football footsteps so faithfully he even plays the same position.

And then there's Kelsey Beck. While you might not have heard of her yet, expect to hear more from this young woman. Kelsey, just crowned Miss Boston 2012, is a college sophomore vying for the title of Miss America 2013 -- 42 years after her mother, Barbara Beck, competed for the same title as Miss Florida.

Given that parents are more likely to have a son, like Eli, play in the Super Bowl than have a daughter compete in the Miss America Pageant it's not surprising that those with pageant roots in their family trees go far. This year for the first time the daughter of a former Miss America participated in the national pageant as a state queen; Diana Dreman competed at Miss Colorado, the same state her mother, Rebecca King, represented en route to becoming Miss America 1974. Mom Barbara Beck never forced Kelsey to participate in pageants, but she did watch the Pageant with her every year, planting the seed for a lifelong love of pageantry.

But Kelsey's accomplishments extend far beyond tiaras and swimsuits. Kelsey is an undergraduate at Harvard, where she has played on the varsity volleyball team. Beauty, brains, and athletic prowess make for a formidable combination.

In the past decade this impressive combination has appeared more and more often in the pageant world. Harvard graduates like Laura Lawless Robertson, Nancy Redd, Allison Rogers, Loren Galler-Rabinowitz, and more, have competed for the title of Miss America representing states including Arizona, Virginia, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts. Kelsey draws inspiration from this group of women: "The fact that a lot of Harvard women have competed and have been successful really says good things about pageants in general in that they're not all about beauty, and they're about the well-rounded woman that is driven, motivated, smart, and intellectual. That Harvard women are becoming more of a force in the pageant world can dispel a lot of stereotypes about pageants."

CLICK HERE TO READ ON THE HUFFINGTON POST/STYLELIST

Kelsey dispels another pageant stereotype -- that you need to be on the pageant circuit while still in diapers in order to be successful (which has gained more currency than ever thanks to TLC's child beauty pageant series Toddlers & Tiaras). Miss Boston was the first pageant in which she had ever participated. Kelsey explains, "I grew up as an athlete so I never really considered beauty pageants, and didn't have time for them."

So what motivated her to grab her bikini and high heels now? Money -- more precisely, scholarship money. The Miss America Pageant reports that it is the largest source of scholarship money for women in the world. According to Kelsey, "My mom would talk about how great of an experience she had and how the Miss America organization funded her entire undergraduate education. I thought that was amazing and I always had it in the back of my mind as a way that I could help my parents by getting some scholarship money."

As more and more families are affected by the economic downturn, pageantry has increasing appeal for some. While it does cost money to compete in a pageant, the financial rewards can be great (if you win). Kelsey used a bathing suit she already owned and drew from her experience packaging herself as a stellar collegiate student-athlete (Harvard, like all Ivy League schools, recruits for their sports teams, but they do not offer athletic scholarships) to prepare for the interview portion of the pageant. She did invest in an evening gown, but based on that investment she has now earned over $7000 in scholarship money to be used for her Harvard degree, and hopefully for a law degree as well.

Her mother, Barbara, is excited about Kelsey's chances, and is enjoying strengthening their mother-daughter pageant bond. But Barbara is also careful to add, "We don't want to call it a beauty pageant because it's [about] so much more than attractiveness. I never considered myself a beauty. I think the Miss USA Pageant is a beauty pageant -- those girls are drop dead gorgeous. But with the Miss America organization, if you can look attractive -- put on some make-up, walk in heels, and feel okay about your body in a swimsuit -- and have a talent, you can do it!"

Given that Harvard students who represent Miss Boston have been very successful at the Miss Massachusetts Pageant over the past 25 years, it's quite likely Kelsey Beck can do it. She could very well be hearing the strains of "There She Is," as her mother did four decades ago, in no time.

Miss America 2012, Part 2 (The Pageantry of the Pageant)

As promised, here are some of my thoughts on this year's Miss America Pageant. 1) This year's Pageant was a real Pageant, complete with an entertaining production. The crowning moment of Miss Wisconsin, Laura Kaeppeler, captured this well.

Yes, those are mascara-tinged black tears running down her face.

My first reaction via Twitter (I LOVED live-tweeting the Pageant this year) was that this was a major pageant faux pas. I mean, we have waterproof mascara and/or false eyelashes for a reason. But upon further reflection I feel that this Tammy Faye Baker-esque moment was actually pretty amazing and encapsulates the return to glamor I think marked the 2012 Pageant.  What says pageantry more than too much make-up? And, what says pageantry more than a dramatic crowning moment? I mean, the black streaks didn't approach reality starlet Lauren Conrad-level of black streaks, but combined with that completely ridiculous crowning bouquet, the whole picture is deliciously over-the-top.

I also think that most of the Top 16 (exception Miss Alabama, who I TOTALLY didn't get, but more on her below) were a glamorous and beautiful bunch. It was one of the best Top 5s in recent memory. And more people than usual got to see it.  Apparently the number of viewers grew over the two-hour broadcast, which some attribute to the blowout in the Patriots-Broncos game (One of my most popular Tweets during the Pageant/football game was: "Switching between Pats game and #MissAmerica. It's not fair that Tom Brady is prettier than pretty much all the contestants.").  Interestingly, I've always said that pageantry and football are good female/male counterparts to one another; and, as I've written about elsewhere, parents have a better chance of having a son play in the Superbowl (don't get any ideas Little Man!) than having a daughter compete in the Miss America Pageants.

2) Speaking of the Top 5, my pre-Pageant predictions were pretty much spot-on.  It was clear based on preliminary winners (including the final two standing, WI and OK), that the judges picked early faves and stuck with them.

I predicted four of the Top 5 (AZ, OK, WI, and NY) so I feel like a cemented my status as a pageant prognosticator for the next year!

[Note: I find it fascinating when looking at this picture (though the fact that the crown is askew bothers me!) that three of the five are wearing white dresses (but, good Lord, don't get me started on NY's strange gown with that thigh-high slit, pointy boob neckline, and those awful earrings) and AZ's silver/nude is pretty neutral as well. Miss WI/America's black dress really helps her stand out.  She claimed her dress reminded her of Kate Middleton's wedding dress, a comparison I still don't get beyond the color difference.]

3) While I did enjoy this year's Pageant quite a bit, there were two things I disliked.  Well, the first thing I HATED. That would be the way that the Top 12/13 was formed. Based on judges' scores three contestants were eliminated.  Then, in a "twist," the other "eliminated" contestants were able to vote one of them back in.  How? Well they had to physically line up behind one of them.  Seriously. It was like an awkward game of playground dodgeball where instead of throwing balls, pointy and painful crowns were hurled instead.  And, of course, Miss AL who was voted back in was immediately eliminated again by the judges who clearly had already eliminated her. A humiliating exercise for all involved.

Similarly, I still dislike the way the Talent portion has been handled the past few years.  The hosts announce the contestants only seconds before they are expected to perform, which makes it really hard to be prepared whether you are a dancer, singer, or musician.  Most people love the talent part (which sometimes can be deliciously awful-- Memory sung in Italian by Miss TN this year anyone?!), so why not just make it standard for all the Top 10 and let them know in advance?

I understand that the Pageant is trying to add in more reality TV elements. However let's not forget that, really, Miss America was the first television reality show.  As such, it is the Grande Dame of reality programming. Miss America, please conduct yourself with a bit more integrity and gravitas. Next year, drop these awful elements!

One thing I would like to see included more in the live broadcast is the contestants' platforms.  For example, the winner, Miss WI, had a very interesting platform about providing support to children with parents in prison, inspired by her personal experience.  This is clearly part of the reason the judges loved her, but the casual viewer at home wasn't at all privy to her interesting story.  If platforms aren't used at all in the Saturday night broadcast, why have them at all?

It will be interesting to follow Miss America 2012 throughout her reign this year to see how she manages to continue to incorporate her platform with the business of beauty Miss America calls for. And to see when she starts using waterproof mascara.