You Gotta Have a Gimmick: Miss America 2015

Last night Miss America 2015 Kira Kazantsev was crowned Miss America 2015, making history in particular for being part of a never-before three-peat for a state at Miss America. The reigning Miss America and past two Miss Americas all represented New York (though all grew up in states other than NY, they went there for college). She is also making quite a splash due to her talent.

Now some are saying she has no talent and only played a cup. While I find it ridiculous that a Miss America sat cross-legged on the stage in Boardwalk Hall BAREFOOT, in her defense she did sing. And for the record, she can carry a tune much better than many of the other contestants (I'm looking at you, Miss Tennessee). Also, no joke, my mother, who is Miss America 1970, picked her after her talent saying her voice is "pleasant." Likeable has become the new buzz word for Miss America. I'm guessing my mom, like other pageant lovers, hasn't seen Pitch Perfect, so the truth is that this act was semi-pop culture current and besides the barefoot element (Again, what and why?!) is recreated down to the criss-cross applesauce posture.

Nonetheless, after a pageant season filled with scandal, gaffes, and drama, this is certainly NOT what the Miss America program needed.

Also, this year's Miss America Pageant proves, more than anything, the old Showbiz adage (from the legendary Gypsy) that you gotta get a gimmick...

Indeed, those with "gimmicks," or stories, this year got attention and airtime on prime time network TV.

* Miss Idaho was People's Choice after making headlines for her "Show me your pump" statement

* Miss Kentucky's story of overcoming MS earned her headlines and a spot in the Top 12 (and a prelim talent win)

* Miss New York wasn't the only one with a gimmick in her talent, Miss Ohio (also a prelim talent winner) is getting national attention for her ventriloquist routine

(Silly me, I originally thought the gimmick here was going to be the "Joan Rivers" doll commenting on the inanity of a "mullet" dress with *sequined* pants!)

In the end, it wasn't a bad pageant overall. I think the winner had many pageant watchers (as opposed to the general public) taking a drink from a red solo cup because no one EVER expected a three-peat. I admit I didn't pay much attention to Kira in the lead-up to the Pageant for precisely this reason. Going into last night (as I shared on social media), I predicted 11 of the Top 16 correctly. But after that I went off the rails as my pick in each subsequent event was eliminated. Interestingly enough, 3 of the Top 5 were part of my missed group of 5 (the winner, NY, 1st-runner-up VA, and AR). I have told people for months FL and MA would be Top 5, so at least I can keep my Pageant PhD for that I suppose.

The bigger issue here is that if Miss America keeps three hours on the network (and it's possible with the new dick clark production deal) they absolutely must consider showing more of the interview process. I, like many others, believe much of the Pageant is determined in the interview room, not only because it's such a big part of the score but also because judges "like" contestants from then on. The viewing audience, who only tune in once per year, must see more in the room-- even more than was shown last night.

Or, at least in the case of one contestant, perhaps a bit less.

Seems Miss Nebraska (along with Jane "Austin," oy) got the memo that you gotta get a gimmick and took it a bit too literally in the Gypsy Rose Lee sense...

Mess America: But Still the Largest Source of Scholarships for Women

The past month has been full of "pageant scandals." From discussions about bodies, state-hopping, age of contestants, and tabulation errors, I can scarcely recall a time that both Miss USA and Miss America were so talked about in the news. Unfortunately it's all for negative reasons and not for positive ones... The Miss USA  pageant had the former two issues and Miss America the latter. Just as there are differences between the two systems (and some similarities, articulated very well here by former contestant and winner in both), this year the scandals also differ in an important way. The Miss America scandals haven't been caused by a lie, or alleged lie; instead, they are the result of human error. Below I present my take on both of the issues and then some overall take-aways. Miss Delaware- Look, the rules are clear. Amanda Longacre is too old to compete at Miss America and never should have been allowed to compete at the local or state level. Many are blaming those in the organization, and they should accept part of the blame as they validated her paperwork-- even sending it to the national office where the error was found! But Longacre also is at fault. It is true she didn't lie, but you don't sign a contract and not read every detail. Even though she was told it was ok, she knew it wasn't as she asked in the first place. And interviews like this one where she comes across as whiny and litigious simply don't help. She is almost 25 as we know, and I have seen preteens hold themselves together better. As she says is new to pageantry; this wasn't a lifelong dream for her. She is getting national exposure and she needs to capitalize, not whine.

Miss Florida- Truly the more unfair/upsetting situation, and every winner and director's worst nightmare. On the one hand the Miss Florida Organization did the right thing by correcting the error <insert obligatory joke about Florida recounts>. It is truly unfortunate for all involved as Elizabeth Fechtel (crowned the winner but actually the 1st-runner-up) had already changed her whole school/life schedule in the few days since she was crowned. Also Cowen lost her chance at a crowning moment. I think both ladies are beautiful and seem to be talented (Fechtel was actually Miss America's Outstanding Teen previously so is used to success and the MAO system) and will be fine. And Fechtel, based on her blog about the situation could *definitely* teach Longacre a thing or two about how to handle a situation like this with grace (I love her line that she was herself before the title and will continue to be herself).

Ok, that said, I sense something fishy actually went down in Florida. I followed the Miss Florida competition because I was keeping track of the success of one of the contestants who I have previously met (and she made the Top 10 there on her first try-- congrats, Kelsey Beck!). I follow Pageant groups on Facebook (like the Junkies), people on Twitter, and sometimes the Voy boards for updates. Now, the Voy boards can be vicious and full of lies, so I often take what I read with a serious grain of salt-- as I've talked about on the record before. Throughout the pageant week it was posted many times (hard to tell if it was one person posting many times or actually different people) that Fechtel had been heard saying she did not want to actually win Miss Florida this year. Now if this was said after the mix-up I wouldn't pay it any heed. But it was said many times before, and even on the night of the competition someone wrote that she would resign if she won... And then six days later this very unexpected news? Odd. If she had resigned she never would have been able to compete again, but this way she can and have a huge leg-up.

Now let's talk about the error. So Miss America goes on total points UNTIL you get to the Top 5. Then there is a final ballot and all the previous scores are wiped clean. Judges rank 1-5 and each rank gets points assigned to it, and placing someone first gives them many more points than placing someone second. The official story is: "The family says it was told that one of the judges changed his mind while scoring first and second place on the night of the pageant and that "in the last 15 seconds of the time allotted to vote, that he drew lines to reverse his first vote," mother Dixie Fechtel wrote in an email." I judged Miss New Jersey last year. I can absolutely promise you there were NO shenanigans and we had no idea who was a returning competitor, who was "well-liked" by the organization, etc. The final ballot can be stressful, but not that stressful. One of the judges next to me did make changes and the Judges' Chairwoman made him initial all changes and consulted him before moving forward in any round. She was great and FL should have had someone so conscientious. But the addition is so simple it is hard to believe it took so long to figure out... Unless, of course something else went on. We will never know the truth. In any case, I suspect we will see Fechtel on the Miss America stage someday, she is only 20 and has several more years of eligibility, and even if she doesn't as her supporters say she will be fine.

More than anything though this situation highlights the fact that Miss America is overwhelmingly run by volunteers. People give immense amounts of time and resources to run these local and state programs. Even at the national level high-placed people are volunteers. With so much at stake in terms of finances and credibility, it might be time to establish professional positions at least at the state level.

Speaking of, the National organization is doing the right thing and awarding BOTH Miss Delaware 2014s the full scholarship money (note the huge discrepancy in winnings state to state, here DE gets $9000 and FL gets $20,000). This puts the emphasis on the positive aspect of the Miss America program, that while it is a pageant it is the largest source of scholarship money for women in the world. Even the runners-up pull in large amounts of scholarship monies, especially if they win multiple awards.

And, about those runners-up. I hope these two anomalous situations don't give false hope to first-runners-up! If anything it should make people feel more sure of results since tabulators, directors, and chairpeople will be triply checking rules and scores from now on. Then again, check out the bio of the newly crowned Miss Wisconsin 2014, Raeanna Johnson. She was also Miss Wisconsin 2012. Why? She was first runner-up and Miss Wisconsin that year, Laura Kaeppeler (now married to Bachelor/Bachelorette producer Mike Fleiss who was her JUDGE at Miss America!), won Miss America so she assumed her duties. Since Johnson never competed on the Miss America stage she was eligible to re-compete. So, on second thought, hold on to your tiaras all you first runners-up, things will change for at least one of you in September!

Why do people watch Miss USA?

Another year, another Miss USA crowned. You likely won't remember,  or ever know, but Miss USA 2014's name is Nia Sanchez and she represented Nevada. Her crowning has made a few headlines, like this article about her final answer on sexual assault on campus (though George Will is the one really making headlines about this these days), but in general the winner was tame. No big viral YouTube moments. No "firsts." Just a very pretty, thin girl winning a crown and a year working for Donald Trump (although the "normal" weight of one contestant generated conversation, which if you look at her pic you will realize is exceptional given how thin even she is!.

What was different this year was that the pageant was THREE HOURS LONG. Judging by my Twitter feed most people like me (loyal pageant watchers) were bored. It took over an hour to even announce a Top TWENTY. While it was great to get that much time for a pageant on a Sunday night, I would have far, far preferred to see that time go to Miss America.

Yes, I am a bit biased toward Miss America in general, but this is also because Miss America has an extra component to the competition-- talent. All Top 10 Miss America finalists used to have their talents televised live. I feel strongly this should return (and not in the reality format elimination way they do it now). Sometimes those talents are laughably terrible, sometimes just cringe-worthy, more often average, and occasionally really good. But at least there we see more than tan bodies, stick thin legs, and too much hair and make-up. Truly, some of the contestants (especially Miss TN with her Tammy Faye eyes and whose look made her look like an aging politician's wife!) look like parodies of women. Talent remains one of the biggest differences between the two systems, as I mention in this news article out last week.

I was reminded of this talent issue because I DVRed both Miss USA and the Tonys. Thank goodness; see that loooong factor. I was surprised that the two were up against one another given that there is a substantial overlap in their target audiences. That said, it was so obvious that one three-hour broadcast sent a very different message and showcased a lot more talent than the other. You figure out which one is which. There may have been some over the top moments in both, but the one I mean had more authenticity than is showcased in this clip of what contestants would do if they won:

(Note that Nevada did NOT do this when she actually won!)

Despite all this, apparently I am wrong because ratings for Miss USA were UP this year and the total number of viewers increased over the three hours! So what do I know, right?! So I am honestly curious: why do 5 million+ people watch Miss USA? Obviously it's for the beautiful, scantily clad women, but isn't the Victoria's Secret fashion better (apparently, yes, as they get almost twice as many viewers)? Miss America has more history and gravitas, even if most people can't distinguish between the two. Is it for the judges (like Lance Bass who has recently judged both!)? Or is it timing and there is more on TV in September? Or something else entirely?

In any case, the winner was an early favorite of mine, so at least I was right there. And I have to say that I feel for the first runner-up, Audra Mari from North Dakota. She was also first runner-up to Miss Teen USA in 2011! Perhaps she can try to win Miss America, which has never had a Miss North Dakota win, next? So long as she has a talent!

Update: I LOVE some of these answers I am getting, especially since they suggest that competition is innately interesting and there is nothing wrong with pretty things and sequins. Great reminder! I guess you could ask why some people watch hockey or soccer or football as well...

"Pageants are the ORIGINAL reality tv. I like to watch because 9 times out of 10, my "faves" are the winners. I actually take the time to read profiles, particularly for Miss America."

"Because they're fun. And because I like sparkles and drama and dresses that twirl. And I missed the point at which it became taboo to like these things, or to require a "larger meaning" behind every choice I make. The scholarship money was nice. The skills I developed were great. But would have I participated if I earned no money, and just got the crown? Yep."

Teaching for a LIFETIME: My thoughts on Dance Moms, Bring It!, and Kim of Queens

Welcome to the world of Anti-Abby Lee Millers... Ironically brought to you by the network that made her famous, Lifetime. Building off the success (or infamy) of Dance Moms (a show I've written about quite a bit), the network debuted two new series this year: Kim of Queens and Bring It! Given the descent of Dance Moms into madness (it's one of the few "reality" shows where I believe some of the cast members truly hate one another, as evidenced by the arrest of Kelly Hyland), I guess it makes sense that someone had to be waiting in the wings and the network doesn't want to come off like Bravo, only creating drama-filled shows to make people famous. Dance Moms has become so divorced from reality with parents engaging in such egregious behavior that you have to think their contracts are so lucrative/ironclad that it's not worth stopping, or the only way to get off the show is to commit assault. In any case, I can't believe the show has made the players into stars,  as opposed to the negative backlash caused by Toddlers & Tiaras for many families. I mean, they now show the Dance moms (even relatively sane Holly!) painting on abs and arm muscles on their girls-- how is this any different from spray tans? I've asked this before because there are so many similarities between dance competitions and child beauty pageants for young girls, but so many more do dance that by sheer numbers it's not as marginalized as kiddie pageants. On top of the musculature-enhancing make-up, this year/season the girls often wear costumes with enhanced bust (though some are hitting puberty), which is also uncomfortable to watch at times. Also, the fact that sisters Maddie and Mackenzie (oh, excuse me, Mack Z!) are now homeschooled shows how far off the priorities have become and they are truly not kids living a competitive life, but performers 24/7. Despite all this drama, the show has managed to become boring because it's so formulaic. I for one would never want to go to a competition where the show is filming (for fear of rigging, delays, privacy issues, etc.); although I will admit that the show did give me a glimpse of one of my dance crushes, Blake McGrath, even if he did take a presumably large paycheck to work for Crazy Cathy, so I'm grateful for that

When Kim of Queens started I was initially a bit turned off-- and assumed they were looking to create a new Abby (and to fill the void creating by the cancelled Toddlers & Tiaras). With Kim Gravel portraying herself as country I thought she was trying to horn in on the Honey Boo Boo crowd as well. If that angle drew viewers initially though, it wasn't what made them (or me) stay because despite having contrived story lines and bring a bit silly at times, it became extremely clear that Coach Kim loves all her Pageant Place girls and truly wants the best for them. Her big heart (and voice and personality) and tears made for compelling viewing and her emphasis on growth, loss, and the long-term goal/win as opposed to the short-term win/title/crown was a refreshing message.  I of course know the show was staged-- especially so many of the gags with her own family-- and I disliked the way Kin of Queens brought in new girls all the time because the recruits didn't stick around often and it created extra drama when the natural story was more interesting. But overall it was a nice message, and for that reason the series hasn't been as big of a hit. I know Kim isn't always PC, but her comment about clogging being "tapping with hooves," made me laugh. Her aversion to clogging (even trying to transform it into Irish dance) is one example of her outsize personality and wackiness coming from a place of helpfulness and not pure egotism.

Dianna Williams of Lifetime's other new series, which has done well enough to warrant to additional episodes at the end of its run, including a sit-down reunion special, is similar. She is much tougher and even less diplomatic than Kim Gravel, but her students, the Dancing Dolls, face even bigger challenges (the fact that one of the girls' moms became a grandmother at 28 gives you a sense of the challenges in this community). I love that Dianna says she is preparing her "girls" for life and trying to teach them life lessons, which as you know I believe is possible through competitive activities and competitive dance, if done in a healthy way. Bring It! features a hop hop majorette team, which is a style of dance associated with the African-American community and affiliated with many Historically Black Colleges and Universities. The producers often defined dance terms and moves, which even differ from more "traditional" dance. At times I thought talk of "technique" was a bit of a stretch but chalked it up to a different style; but in the finale when a dance team aficionado who was judging complained about the lack of pointed toes I realized the Dancing Dolls were a bit lacking. That said, it was interesting to learn about a new type of dance and all the different categories of competition. The "stand battle" was the biggest component, but there were field dances, captain's dances, burlesque, character, etc. I am sure it is much more complicated than the show let on even so I'd love an insider's perspective! The other refreshing thing about the show was that the body was portrayed in a much less self-conscious way. Compared to the thin Dance Moms girls who paint on muscles, the Bring It! girls embrace their bodies whatever their size and dance with energy and enthusiasm as well (note that this is well known to be more common in the African-American community and black girls/women have fewer incidences of eating disorders and body image problems). I didn't always understand the costume selections, but there is clearly a tradition there. However, my biggest pet peeve was the ripped fishnet stockings and the dance tights showing over the top of the costume pants. That said, the fact many of the girls had to wear "nude" stockings for a different skin tone shows that dance companies should make colors in a wider variety of shades.

While Dance Moms is now so popular it is basically never on hiatus-- constantly doing clips specials and now creating a second team, and a THIRD series starring Abby!-- I'll be tuning in to the shows that feature more positive performance coaches with a more realistic and valuable message. Be sure to check them out, especially if you don't like Dance Moms!

Stick-thin, Stripper shoes, and Slick bodies: My Random Reflections on Miss Universe 2014

It might be because I am 30+ weeks pregnant and I was so tired after a dinner out with my husband I fell asleep before it even fully aired (full disclosure: given the time change and tape delay I actually looked up the results before I even went to dinner), but I found this year's production pretty boring, and filled with unnaturally skinny competitors (USA excepted, who actually looked muscular and fit in her swimsuit). The Miss Universe 2014 Pageant didn't have to be boring. Before it even took place it generated quite a bit of controversy thanks to its Moscow location and Russia's new, formal anti-gay legislation (Andy Cohen dropped out as host and I kept hoping one of the women would make a statement about it during the event). The Pageant could have been even bigger in the USA considering the reigning Miss Universe, Olivia Culpo, was Miss USA. But besides the usual camp it was boring and the ratings, I believe, were the worst ever; only .9 of adults 18-49 watched, way down from last year.

One bright spot for anyone who knows how much I *love* the national costumes was that during the Parade of Nations each contestant's costume was pictured alongside them as they did their live intro. Anderson Cooper did a pretty funny send-up of the costumes earlier in the week (chilis on butts and man babies were my favorite parts, in addition to his giggles), but I can't believe he didn't mention France with the Eiffel Tower on her head! During the Parade I couldn't help but notice the stand-out hair of Canada (like an anchor woman stuck her finger in a socket), Slovenia (a truly unbelievable bottle shade of blonde), and Switzerland (a funky short do that we got to see again as she made Top 16). Also making Top 16 was Nicaragua, who won the National Costume award!

The 16 came out of 86 contestants, so making the cut is a big deal. The one woman who I was truly surprised didn't make it, based on looks and some of the pre-pageant hype and stories, was Miss Israel. In every shot of her she looked stunning, so I wonder what happened... The other thing I noticed right away when the Top 16 was announced was that Miss India was so light-skinned, lending credence to many of the claims that the reigning Miss America, Nina Davuluri, wouldn't be considered beautiful in India because of her darker skin.

As usual swimsuit kicked things off (along with the usual somewhat odd musical guests). I hated the tacky close-ups of body parts at the start of the number. Also, the aforementioned oiled and too-thin bodies. I also disliked the "fur" wraps the women wore out and carried with them. It's already so strange to see them in high heels (and "stripper heels" refer to the platforms built on to many to add additional height, which are even now favored in evening gown), so why add a fur wrap while in a bikini?! The eventual winner, Venezuela, was especially well-oiled and thin.

I was impressed that Olivia Culpo came out in the million dollar suit. While she dd keep most of herself covered with the wrap, I can't imagine an outgoing Miss America putting on a swimsuit more than a year after her win, so kudos to her (even if her white eye make-up/concealer around her eyes was distracting). Culpo is a true beauty though-- I thought Ukraine looked a lot like her and expected her in Top 5, but perhaps their similar look explains why she didn't make the final cut.

The final cut featured three our of five women from South America. The final questions were predictably awkward, but nothing terrible happened. For me Venezuela's Gabriela Isler was a standout-- especially with her neon white teeth and long-sleeved gown-- so I wasn't surprised when she won.

I think USA/UK canceled one another out from making Top 5, which was too bad as UK was a great contestant this year. Some women seemed especially unhappy to not make a cut at all; for instance, every time I saw Azerbaijan in the background she was scowling. Then again, the Top 5 seemed happy. Each woman clapped for herself when her name was announced as a runner-up!

The end to the Pageant was extraordinarily strange though. Here it is in its entirety:

The winner not hearing her name was edited out of the US broadcast, but the crown falling stayed in.

The one other thing to note from this Pageant was that on TWO occasions one of the co-hostesses commented on women being "former tomboys." The implication was always that they were unattractive then and only later became beautiful. This is of course ridiculous. You can be a tomboy and be beautiful as well. And in the US this is usually seen as a good thing. But perhaps the focus on beauty and not athleticism/fitness is why so many of this year's contestants were absolutely too thin. Let's hope for better next year, wherever Miss Universe is held.