The Summer of the Stage Mothers

This has certainly been the summer of stage mothers-- at least on television.

We have the Dance Moms on Lifetime, who continue to bring the crazy. If anything, it's ramping up as the Abby Lee Dance Company prepares for its big "nationals" in Tahoe. Stay tuned for a smackdown with Crazy Cathy from Candy Apples... I can't wait! In the meantime, the moms have moved on from sniping at one another to fighting with the dance teacher. In the latest episode (Episode 9: From Ballerinas to Showgirls) mom Christi confronts dance teacher Abby about her favoritism and not treating her daughter Chloe like "a human being." Mom Kelly has a meltdown over solo costumes, gets into a huge fight with teacher Abby, and pulls her daughter Paige's number from the competition. You can watch this, and more, by clicking here.

While Dance Moms has certainly produced some cringe-worthy stage mom moments this summer, they still can't approach TLC-levels of stage mother craziness.  So, not surprisingly, Toddlers & Tiaras moms still win the crown (though some of the mothers from TLC's Outrageous Kid Parties *almost* take the cake-- pun intended). From the mother reliving her own child beauty pageant days by putting her four-year-old in her old Dolly Parton costume, complete with "enhancements" of the bust and bottom, to the mother dressing her three-year-old as Julia Roberts' prostitute character in Pretty Woman, what can you say?

Good for this pageant mom speaking out against the Pretty Woman costume in "Celebrity Wear" in a very articulate way, acknowledging existing criticisms of child beauty pageants. Notice her daughter is dressed in an age-appropriate Shirley Temple costume, so at least she walks the walk. That said, part of me wonders if some women are being more outrageous to try to get their children media attention. The Pretty Woman mom has made numerous national media appearances in the past week. Sure, she's being strongly criticized, but perhaps that was her plan all along? We know that much of Dance Moms is also staged for the cameras and people are now so savvy about "reality" television that you have to wonder; or maybe I'm just being too hopeful.

While there is always at least a kernel of reality in our reality programming, there is no better exhibit than Kate Gosselin to illustrate just how packaged these shows have become. Kate is perhaps the greatest "stage mother" of our era-- not just for pushing her own kids to be on camera as themselves (a twist to the traditional Momma Rose narrative, since they aren't really "performers)-- but also for presenting herself as the world's greatest "mother."  The change in her own appearance from frumpy frau to yummy mummy is evidence enough of her willingness and ability to literally transform in front of the cameras.  Tomorrow is the series finale for TLC's Kate Plus 8, and it's possible it's not a moment too soon if these children will have a chance at a non-reality/reality-filled life. You only have to read the People Magazine cover story this week to start to comprehend the deep psychological, psychosocial, and sociological effects that growing up in front of the cameras has had on the Gosselin eight, not to mention how they relate to money and view financial stability for their family. These kids have had to work as themselves basically since they were in utero, so hopefully they can eventually make the transition to a non-reality reality.  Then again, twin Mady wants to be a Disney pop star, and Kate seems bully on the idea... And we know how well that usually turns out! (Check out this great Yahoo article on the end of the show, featuring comments by yours truly on the financial repercussions for the Gosselin eight!)

While the end of the Gosselin reality show is the end of an era in many ways, I can't help but wonder if this is just the start of seeing more and more stage mothers on TV doing outrageous things with their kids on camera in the pursuit of celebrity and some fleeting fifteen minutes of fame. What do you think-- is this the apex or the nadir of this trend?

Glitz and Drama Down Under (on The Huffington Post Style)

The tension has been building for months -- the online protests started in April, and then there were the rallies in May. Not to mention the Facebook threats and numerous complaints to public officials. Despite all the brouhaha, an "American-style" child beauty pageant sponsored by Texas-based Universal Royalty took place over the weekend in Melbourne, Australia. About 80 girls competed and 200 people attended the pageant. The event was not open to the general public, but it was covered by Australia's A Current Affair. All in all it seems the event was a success.

The pageant was not drama-free though. But it wasn't the protesters, demonstrating about 3 km away, who caused a fuss. Rather it was Eden Wood, the "child beauty pageant star" from the U.S. who had traveled to Australia to meet her fans and help promote the event.

Eden Wood was a no-show over the weekend.

CLICK HERE TO KEEP READING!

ETA: I was contacted by Heather Ryan, Eden Wood's manager, about my story. I wanted to present her perspective-- some of which, but not all of which, has been presented in other media accounts.  A correspondent for the rival TV show to A Current Affair, Today Tonight, which covered the "Wood family entourage," has offered his own version of how the events of last weekend went down. You can read his account by clicking HERE; his account has been endorsed by Heather Ryan.

What if JonBenet did competitive dance?: Dance Moms and Toddlers & Tiaras

Wednesdays at 10 pm are really must-see-TV for me. Thanks to my DVR I can watch TLC's tried and true Toddlers & Tiaras and Lifetime's newcomer, Dance Moms. I've long said that in many ways competitive dance and child beauty pageants have a lot in common. Imagine if JonBenét had been a competitive dancer and not a child beauty pageant queen... Well, it seems competitive dance is now getting its place in the crazy sun.

Dance Moms features the Pittsburgh- area students of dance teacher Abby Lee Miller. Miller is a character straight out of central casting. Imagine Mama Rose times a thousand (but they aren't even her kids). But she gets results, with her students winning nationwide, appearing on dance television shows, and dancing professionally. It's not that all of her rules are wrong, but it's the way she sometimes says it to her young students. Miller commented several times throughout the episode that she wants to treat her girls like professionals. Only problem is, they aren't professionals yet-- they are developing dancers and people.

Having studied competitive dance, there are several elements of the shocking show that strongly resonated with my research (oh, and several elements that don't, which I'll get to).

1. It didn't surprise me at all that one of the moms featured on the show is a former Abby Lee Miller student. Not only have many dance moms done dance themselves, but some I met send their children to the same studio. This usually means they had a great experience-- though in this case it may be some form of Stockholm Syndrome?
2. Other moms are definitely more critical of dance teachers. At the end of the competition featured in the premiere Miller took a mother to task over a costume mishap. The mom's rejoinder? That Miller works for her since she pays her to teach her daughter dance. Sadly, this is a pretty common refrain not just in dance but across children's competitive activities. And Miller's response was also typical-- this is my business, my livelihood, not an afterschool activity. Both are right, of course. But because afterschool teachers and coaches aren't regulated and credentialed as regular teachers are, they are often seen as careworkers by parents.
3. At the regional competition several of the girls commented that having their dance teacher with them backstage right before they competed made them more nervous, since she kept giving them corrections. When I interviewed competitive dance girls-- and other competitive kids-- they expressed similar sentiments.  In fact, kids love being around their peers at these events, without their teachers or parents present.  Making friends and building relationships is one of their effective coping strategies for dealing with the stress of competition. As long as there is some adult supervision backstage (an outside party provided by the competition itself), I think this is the best way to help kids learn to cope with competition themselves.
4. One of the things shown in this episode that shocked viewers the most, based on what I've read on message boards, was Miller's use of "the pyramid." Each week she has one girl at the top, two in the middle, and three at the bottom. I agree that this is particularly extreme and public, but, honestly, this happens all the time in these competitive kids' activities.  Kids who do sports and dance are constantly competing-- not just at organized competitions. They are competing at every practice/rehearsal to see who will be the starter, who will be featured, etc. Miller makes this process more grossly transparent, but clearly it happens and kids and their parents know it. I'm not advocating for "the pyramid" approach, but it's unwise to think it's not a part of participating in any competitive activity.  It's also important to note that not only are kids under constant surveillance by a teacher/coach, but they are also often literally under surveillance by their parents. In Miller's studio there is a "dance jail" where the moms can sit and watch down over the class through a glass mirror. This also famously occurs at many ice skating rinks and gymnastics gyms (if you're interested in these areas, Joan Ryan's Little Girls in Pretty Boxes remains a must read).  Not all dance studios do this-- in fact, I think the best ones don't-- but the sociologist in me can't help but think of a panopticon when I watch the moms watching the dance teacher watch their girls.

So, yes, I was prety surprised by the outright naming of the competitive pyramid even if I understood it's motivations. And that wasn't all I was surprised by in this first episode!

First, it seems absurd to me that a new routine is necessary for every regional competition. This clearly has to be a reality show-inspired practice to keep up maximum drama (Will they pick up the choreography? Will the rhinestones get on the new costumes in time? Who will be featured? Etc.). I can see a small argument that learning new routines quickly is a professional dance skill-- but given that a six-year-old is one of the featured dancers on the show, it seems a touch premature.

Second, and probably most disturbing, was the moms decamping to the bar and getting tipsy during the competition. Now, look, I'm sure as a mom I will indulge in a glass of wine when necessary. I'm not a teetotaler. But, but, but, it was the  two girls of the tipsy moms who had mishaps during the competition. One poor girl got burned or her arm by a curling iron (and it looked pretty painful) at the hands of her mother. The other had the aforementioned costume mishap with a hairband (which a few extra bobby pins would have prevented). I really do hate to be judgmental, but these are safety issues. Also, while some of the competitive parents I met would be happy, and free, to enjoy some alcohol after a competition is over, I know no one who would leave to consume alcohol in the middle of a competitive event.

In ay event, I can't wait to see what Dance Moms continues to bring after this insane first episode (Oh, I did mention cops coming to the studio over an angry mom, didn't I?!). Toddlers & Tiaras continues to entertain, but it has some serious competition.

Speaking of, two quick T&T observations from the past two episodes:

• As the mom-to-be of a little boy, I admit to having a serious crush on last week's featured pageant "diva", Brock, and his family. I hope whoever my son is, he is as well-adjusted as the adorable Brock. Check him out.
• Serious child beauty pageant watchers/aficionados: Did you catch Hannah Douglas, former child beauty queen, winning the $10,000 cash at Universal Royalty? Hannah was the original Eden Wood-- long before Eden was born. During the late 90s and early 2000s, Hannah Douglas RULED the pageant circuit, winning a reported $40,000 one summer. At the time she was raised by two dads, who had pageant businesses (they still do-- owning pageant systems, hair and make-up services, photography, etc.), though the dads have since split.  No, this is not Leslie Butler from Living Dolls-- Hannah was a bigger success than Leslie, though both were big names. I heard a rumor that 20-year-old Hannah now has her own baby pageant queen now. Given she tried for the Miss USA system, I'm guessing this was not quite planned... In any event, her out-of-retirement win raised more than a few eyebrows at the pageant. Is it any surprise she won, really?

Follow-Ups: Botox Mom, Bernard Lagat's Son, and Miss America's Daughter

Many of my blog posts fall into one of the following categories: beauty pageants, child beauty pageants, and competitive children.  Today's post features updates on some of my most popular stories in each of these areas. 1) Botox Mom (aka Kerry Campbell/Sheena Upton)- It's been reported that Botox Mom (who never actually used Botox it turns out) is working with the Department of Children and Family Services in California to keep custody of her two daughters.  Upton is taking parenting classes, undergoing mental health counseling, and living with a family member to help her girls recover from the events of this past spring. I don't think we'll be seeing the Uptons on this season of Toddlers & Tiaras, do you?

2) Miika Lagat was back in the news this weekend as his dad ran in the US Track and Field Championships.  In an interview Lagat reported: "Lagat, who's son Miika is his #1 fan and was cheering for him every lap of the 5,000m on Friday night, said it was OK with Miika that his dad did not win. Bernard said Miika told him BEFORE the race, 'You know what daddy, you've run a lot (this week). If you lose, it's part of running.'" Let's not forget that Miika is five-and-a-half. He's pretty wise for someone so young, but having grown up around racing I guess he's earned his wisdom. I wonder if he will be racing soon?

3) Speaking of children of celebrities, Diana Dreman was just crowned Miss Colorado 2011. What's special about that? Well, her mother is Rebecca King, Miss America 1974. I am 99% sure that this is the first daughter of a Miss America to compete on the Miss America Pageant's stage. As the daughter of Miss America 1970, I have a lot of respect for Diana for putting herself out there-- but I also worry for her. I never did pageants, though there was a moment when I was a kid when I thought, "Hey, I could do that." My mother, wisely, didn't let me participate saying, "If you win, people could say it is because of me. If you lose, it could be because of me. You need to do your own thing." Not surprisingly, my own thing did not involve walking on-stage in a bathing suit (because, really, I think for most people, that is the stuff of nightmares).

In any event, I do think that Diana has the "Miss America look." I read on the pageant message boards that her talent routine is weak (dance), but I would expect her to go pretty far in Vegas come January. First of all, it's a great story for the Pageant. I will definitely be interested to see what a) the mainstream media makes of this story, and b) what pageant insiders make of it. And, of course, I'll share my thoughts!

Two other quick things to note: Rebecca King, Diana's mother (who was also Miss Colorado-- the last to win Miss America!), signaled a new stage in Miss America's development, back in the early 1970s. King was basically the first to use her scholarship money for professional graduate school. She became a lawyer and has had a successful law practice. She has also stayed involved with the Pageant, serving on its Board-- so it will be especially interesting to see how this plays out, since Diana has presumably met much of the Miss A leadership over the years... Second, I can't resist noting that this is not the most (in)famous pageant mother-daughter duo to come out of Colorado. That, of course, would be JonBenet and her mother, Patsy...

From Eden vs. MaKenzie to Miss USA

It's been a big week in beauty pageants, especially with the Miss USA Pageant and the return of Toddlers & Tiaras.  Last week's TLC hit featured a "showdown" between two of the most well-known queens featured on the show-- Eden Wood and MaKenzie-- and this week's featured a Pentecostal, praying pageant mom and a pushy, pugnacious pageant mom/entrepreneur.

I've written about little MaKenzie before; while I am sure she is a difficult child to raise at times, she is an absolute character to watch. She is a refreshingly smart, and filterless, child.  The latest episode had her declaring that with her flipper in (a "must" for many glitz pageants), she looked like a bunny.  After a successful acting lesson (which likely went well precisely because MaKenzie isn't overly practiced/rehearsed), she exclaimed, "I don't know how to act. I just know how to be MaKenzie!"

Her rival-- who bested her yet again-- Eden Wood, is a bit more polished than MaKenzie, to say the least. We got a slightly different view of Eden this episode, as she had a minor meltdown while getting ready. In general though, Eden is a little pageant pro who clearly practices hard, and who has a team behind her helping her succeed. Despite her pageant successes, it was announced after this episode aired that Eden is "retiring" from pageants to pursue other career opportunities (though if you've seen Cutie Patootie, which I've linked to before, you might wonder if a singing career is premature-- then again, Eden is currently on a mall tour of the Midwest, so she has fans in place already).

Not to worry though, as they are lots of other pageant divas out there. Chloe, from last week's episode, is one. She is on a "winning streak," as her mom says. Her mother makes her living off of pageants, so doing well is Chloe's "job." Chloe's mom declared that Chloe is not traditionally "facially" beautiful, as she doesn't have blue eyes and blonde hair; we're treated to nine-year-old Chloe getting her hair highlighted and eyebrows waxed (always painful to watch).  The worst moment though was when her mom kept referring to Chloe's teeth as "jack-o-lantern," and then Chloe said she doesn't want to be a jack-o-lantern because they are "fat."  It's very possible Chloe is gong to grow up to hate her mother, and pageants.

So do MaKenzie, Eden, or Chloe stand a chance to become Miss USA like Alyssa Campanella (the gorgeous Miss California)? My guess is no, for a few reasons. First of all, it's unclear that any of them want to become Miss USA, or even Miss America. Eden clearly has grander ambitions and I'm guessing MaKenzie won't stick with pageants for many more years. Chloe, well, I've already shared my views there. On top of that, pageants really don't reward those who have been doing pageants since childhood. They are seen as too programmed and too "pageant patty." (One exception is Miss America 2004, Erika Dunlap, who did pageants as a child.) Note that, refreshingly, Alyssa Campanella was one of only two contestants last week at Miss USA who said she believed in evolution (one theory is that contestants didn't want to be controversial, the other is-- yikes!).  Like many things, including sports, making it to the "big leagues" is a long haul that involves luck, patience, and persistence. Many girls who start in childhood drop out along the way.

I definitely don't expect to see many of these girls competing in the Miss America system either-- and almost certainly not in Massachusetts. To hear some of the reasons why, listen to my appearance on NHPR's Word of Mouth from this past Tuesday (click HERE and then click "Listen" under "Article Tools").