The Fix Is In: Miss Universe 2016

To me there are three High Holy Days of Pageantry each year: Miss America is the apex (with a Holy Week to go along with it), then Miss Universe, and Miss USA. It's no secret that my favorite part of Miss Universe are the national costumes. I actually missed them live this year because I was on a train ride to the North Pole with my kids in New Hampshire (again, see that previous link for my feelings on the lack of traditions and rituals in Miss USA/Universe, because who would have ever thought Miss Universe would be on a Sunday in late December?!). My eldest son's face clearly presages people's reactions to the crowning moment a few hours later...

Because of the important trip to see Santa and his elves, and then getting our intrepid travelers abed, I didn't turn on Fox until 9:30ish last night. The Top 3 were being announced and I immediately thought Miss Philippines would win. I gasped when I saw her dress and the history with Miss USA and Miss Colombia with Miss Universe (recent winners, etc.) told me that the pageant-happy Philippines would be celebrating in half an hour.

I only half paid attention during the Seal song and the long walks, though I do think it was nice that they Top 3 got so much attention and time to shine. As for the final question it was *such* a softball and I thought Miss USA was too rehearsed/Patty and that Miss Philippines continued to exude grace. All I could think during Colombia's answer was how much she looked like Sofia Vergara's unknown younger sister...

When Miss USA was announced second-runner-up, I think the only one truly shocked was her:

And then the real weirdness began. I have seen over 100 pageants (for research and over my life course watching all three Pageants each year). When the winner is called from the final two (which doesn't always happen, as I briefly explain here), the usual protocol is to announce the name of the first-runner-up, so by default you know who the winner is. Then a few seconds later you introduce the new queen by her old title and new title. When it didn't go down this way I actually thought, "Huh, that was odd." I also thought it odd that there was a pause before the outgoing Miss Universe (also from Colombia) came out, although they then jumped excitedly together. I assume there was some frantic movement off camera that the television audience couldn't see.

When Harvey came back out I was shocked and immediately knew what happened, even though this was unprecedented. I honestly initially thought, along with many others, that this may have been a publicity stunt. Some pageant fans still believe this for some interesting reasons. But I have now watched the press conferences after and if it was I don't think Harvey was in on it and it appears to be a terrible mistake from someone who I don't believe has ever hosted a pageant before. There was a reason people like Bert Parks, and now Chris Harrison (who hosts another elimination show filled with emotion and anxiety), needed longevity to perform their iconic roles well.

As I write at the end of my Psychology Today article on this (which covers more the sociological analysis of why me might care so much), "As this story continues to dominate social media and major news sites (and sadly not other pageant-related stories like the tragic car accident right outside the hotel after Miss Universe last night (link is external), Miss Canada World being denied the opportunity to compete earlier in the weekend over political issues with China (link is external), and the appearance of Miss Slovenia at Miss Universe after a health crisis (link is external)) it is clear that pageantry and dream fulfillment still exert a powerful hold on a diverse group of people worldwide."

(And after you read my Psych Today piece you will understand that whenever I see my own mother's crowning moment, that up-close dream fulfillment, it makes me tear up because it is amazing to see the moment when her life changed, and by extension mine as well [I wish in some ways I had a video of when I tore open my college acceptance letter, in the dark ages before email, etc.]. Note that this was her reaction to NOT being called FIRST-RUNNER-UP, since that name is always read first!One final aside: They de-crowmned Colombia, but left the sash on her. How awkward was it to get that sash off?! Anyone know of any photos of this?)

And as I explain in this thoughtful article at Christian Science Monitor, "'Miss Philippines and Miss Colombia displayed grace under pressure in an unexpected and unprecedented situation,' says Friedman. 'What happens in the next few days will show what may or may not have occurred behind the scenes. For better or for worse both contestants, along with emcee Harvey, will live on in social media infamy.'"

I'm guessing that for the next Pageant (and all the preliminaries and state contests leading up to it), a new ritual may be added to the crowning ceremony: SHOWING THE WINNER AND AUDIENCE THE RESULTS CARD!

A Sweet New Set of Miss America Predictions

Today I arrived in Atlantic City for the 95th Annual Miss America Pageant.

On the way down I caught up on some New Yorker reading. Last week's issue had an article on Atlantic City, which somewhat tellingly does not mention Miss America (nor Monopoly for that matter). Nick Paumgarten's "The Death and Life of Atlantic City" had some great lines, and was interesting, if lacking a resolution. A few that seem especially during this High Holy Week of Pageantry: 1) "Most cities exist as a consequence of commercial or strategic utility. Atlantic City is more of a proposition and a ploy." 2) "In some respects, Atlantic City was where America learned how to turn idle entertainment into big business."

Like AC, Vanessa Williams is gritty, turning looks and controversy into money. Williams rose to fame by becoming the first ever African-American to win the title of Miss America in 1984. She rose to infamy by becoming the first ever Miss America to be forced to resign. She returns to Boardwalk Hall for the first time since her win as Head Judge (well, we hope!). For more on my thoughts on how this development reflects broader changes in American society, click through to my Psychology Today piece, "Will the Obama Girls Stay Up Late for Miss America 2016?"

One thing that hasn't changed is that at times the diversity of Miss America seems a bit forced. For example, yet again (a fact I bemoaned two years ago!) Miss America overlaps with the Jewish High Holidays. This is partly just the timing of things; the Pageant is traditionally held the weekend after Labor Day to extend summer tourist season. Now with TV schedules to contend with things get even more complicated. But is is Erev Rosh Hashanah and I will miss the first children's service with my kids at our new Rhode Island synagogue. So, next year in East Greenwich!

As for this year though, here are my Top 16 predictions, in alphabetical order, with a few annotations:

• Alabama- good overall look/package
• Florida- gorgeous girl, appears to be talented dancer, prelim swimsuit winner (interesting back story here is that her older sister was the girl who was "erroneously" crowned Miss Florida LAST year, but instead was supposedly first runner-up)
• Georgia-prelim talent winner, has "the look"
• Idaho- won Sweetheart last year, great look, would be fun to have a winner from this state (though my sense is she underperfomed in prelims perhaps?)
• Iowa- DOUBLE prelim winner, seemingly out of nowhere, good speaker; I know it's not a BEAUTY pageant per se, though I have to say if she had fixed her teeth up it would have helped a lot
• Kansas- if this doesn't work out, she should try Miss USA
• Louisiana- prelim talent winner, attends the "Miss America school" of Oklahoma City University (and graduated from their musical theatre program!)
• New Jersey- Quality of Life winner; I previously judged her and she has a strong overall presentation for sure (plus no Jersey win since 1937!)
• New York- probably cursed given the threepeat, but cute as a button and talented
• North Carolina- strong overall presentation
• Oklahoma- adorable,but high pressure given singing Vanessa Williams' Miss A talent song!
• South Carolina- prelim winner, extremely strong overall presentation
• Vermont- if she gets to do her talent on live TV, I guarantee it will break the Internet (Miss Rhode Island who could also easily make Top 16 with a solid overall presentation also has some meme/hashtag-worthy moments in her dramatic monologue that is committed/entertaining)
• Virginia- solid overall
• West Virginia- supposed to have a great talent
• Wisconsin- I just love her look, different!

A sweet and successful new year to all the contestants, and you, Sunday and all year long!

Playing around with Books and TV Shows

I've been writing elsewhere lately about various different interests-- my kids, playing, pageants, figure skating, books, TV shows, and child geniuses. You can check out these three different pieces by clicking on the titles:

1) Play, Outsourced- Written as part of the blog series, 28 Days of Play, about what impacts and at times impedes playing with our children. This focuses on the somewhat surprising reason (to me) I enroll my kids in classes like Gymboree, music, dance, etc. (Spoiler alert: the repetitive play of infancy and toddlerhood often bores me.)

2) Two Insider Takes on Beauty Pageants and Figure Skating: The New Memoirs of Dick Button and Kate Shindle- This book review essay about two activities I have long loved- figure skating and pageantry/Miss America- appeared on Huffington Post Books.

3) Not Just High Achievers: What Child Genius says about American achievement culture- My thoughts at Psychology Today on the finale of the Lifetime series Child Genius, following up on my previous blog post about the interesting show.

I wonder if outsourcing my sons' play at times means they will be more or less likely to be on Child Genius someday, or compete in a figure skating competition (actually, my educated opinion is that the answer to that is yes), but they likely won't be competing in beauty pageants... Time will tell!

The Pageant Formula of Miss Universe 2015

If you follow my writings on Miss Universe, you know that my absolute favorite part is the parade of national costumes. Trump and his minions got with the program this year and showed us the contestants modeling them-- not just a picture of them flaunting their version of sexy national dress like last year. Even before the live show the costumes were getting the most press of the event, especially Miss Canada.

Clearly, it was NOT Miss Jamaica who was robbed at this pageant, it was Miss Canada who failed to win the costume award! That distinction went to Miss Indonesia, who explained (OBVIOUSLY) that the weight of her costume put her over the airline's weight limit for luggage, but since she won it was all worth it. Which raises the question(s): In what way was it worth it?! Is there a significant cash prize for winning? Even if there was presumably that would go to the cost of the thing itself, which obviously wasn't cheap. How much do they cost on average? Do designers in countries vie to be able to make these things? How many people does it take to get the contestants into one of these? Can anyone provide some answer, please! In the end it seems like if nothing else this is the adult incarnation of sports wear in child beauty pageants. If you don't know what I mean, watch an episode or two of Toddlers & Tiaras...

I know some people didn't like the 3-hour show, but I did. We got a chance to "get to know" the contestants a bit more. Imagine if talent had been included in those three hours. Friends, it could have been epic. Otherwise, we got what we expected from a beauty pageant. As Trump said last week, "It's the age-old thing; it's never going to die — magnificently beautiful women...Whether it's politically correct or not, who cares, it's a formula that will never die."

And sure enough we began the pageant with horrible 1980s-style sequined cocktail dresses, awkward shimmies, contestants who look way older than their years. Then of course swimsuit (for the record, I couldn't get over how swayback Miss Colombia, the eventual winner, was here).

One of the odd things about Miss Universe is that in may ways it is tradition-less, beyond the basic pageant features. In this century it is never held in a reliable location, or even time of year (notice that no Miss Universe pageant was even held in the calendar year 2014!). The crown even usually looks different (this year they introduced one that suggests the NYC skyline, the home city for the pageant organization, which raises the question why they never hold it there). I wonder if this is just something that we notice in the US though, since Miss America, by contrast, is so steeped in tradition. It is worthwhile to note that this year Miss Finland, Bea Toivonen, is the daughter of Miss Finland 1985, Marja Kinnunen. When her mother competed 30 years prior that Miss Universe pageant was also held in Miami. Miami has hosted it for years, and Trump owns property there, so I could see this becoming a host site-- especially because it is an international city with ease of travel.

Spanish-speaking countries do historically do well at Miss Universe and this year was no exception. Many were surprised by the winner, but they shouldn't have been because this pageant is notorious for making deals before the actual event (see comments from contestant Miss France here). The Jamaica was robbed meme and the world peace answer USA provided (though I tend to agree with Australia that why Miss USA Nia Sanchez should be asked this is odd, however her smile at end was BEYOND Pageant Patty) got the most press post-pageant. But what has been most interesting to me is the strong political angle still present. The Israel/Lebanon selfie got continued coverage, and I found Miss Ukraine's final answer politically impassioned and representative of her country. For anyone who doubts that pageants remain relevant culturally, there you go.

Despite the boo-ing and almost anti-climactic ending, the ratings were high. And in case anyone still wonders why the pageant formula will never die, I present this final piece of evidence.

Yes, this is a week late, written on Superbowl Sunday-- the hypermasculine analog to the hyperfeminine? Our family has been wiped out by not one, but two, different viruses so I am finally catching up!

Game of Clowns-- Oh, I mean CRowns

I have now officially caught up on my TV watching; I was sick for a day this week and ended up binge watching Bravo's Mrs. Pageant series Game of Crowns. But, really, a more accurate title would have been Game of CLOWNS. It's like they took the worst elements of so many reality shows (Toddlers & Tiaras, Jersey Shore, Real Housewives, etc.), mixed it up with a bunch of "fame whores" (as one of the contestants calls another on the show), and put it on Bravo.

Unlike Toddlers & Tiaras, Dance Moms, or Kim of Queens, each episode is not devoted to a competition. In fact only a few pageants are shown as the drama is really between the women in other aspects of their lives (clothing, husbands, legal action, etc.). In this respect this is like a knock-off Real Housewives show-- I suppose it would be The Real Housewives of New England given everyone is from CT and RI (and since our family is moving to Rhode Island sometime in 2015 I guess I learned a bit about towns like Cranston and Johnston).

Yes, I just snuck some big news in there. Starting in January 2015 I will be part of the Department of America Studies at Brown University and my husband will be in the Economics Department at Brown!

Like so many reality shows there is much we don't know. For instance, why did we never see the husband of the too-classy/beautiful-for-this-show Shelly Carbone? What's the back story on these women's previous pageant experiences, before they were married? Are their current husbands the fathers of their children? How do Mrs. Pageants work in terms of categories about age, children, talent, etc.?

It should be obvious, but just in case it's not, Mrs. America has absolutely nothing to do with Miss America and Mrs. United States has absolutely nothing to do with Miss USA. In fact, in case you missed it, these women all compete in the same NE pageant systems run by the same family-- a married husband and wife and their daughter who emcees and sings looking to get her 15 minutes. Unclear if this is because there aren't other options or these are the only people who would agree to be on camera.

Needless to say, talent isn't included at these events and I had to laugh when everyone said how important INTERVIEW is and then it was revealed these interviews last THREE MINUTES. At Miss America pageants interview is 10 minutes and it's not even close to enough time. But three minutes? Very funny.

The women all tan, use Botox, fake hair, nails, etc. Some even have blue hair. Yet they all look different given that some are moms and some aren't. Lori-Ann Marchese was the only one without kids, and she comes from the world of "fitness competitions." I really saw a strong resemblance between her and the reigning Miss America, Kira Kazantsev.

The season is filled with typical female reality show fights about jump suits, bets, breast cancer walks vs. vow renewals, and rogue stylists. And then things take a darker turn when death threats are made followed by alleged private investigators, and then a restraining order. Things actually got physical a year after filming ended at the premiere party at Foxwoods (one of the women, half Native American, is married to a part owner of the resort-- and given the history of Foxwoods and the Mashantucket there is some backstory there I am sure [I read Without Reservation many years ago, which I found interesting]).

I can't imagine a second season, but I expect to see more from a few of them, like Shelly Carbone who is Bravo material, and Susanna Paliotta who has now been on TLC (through Toddlers & Tiaras, and who I wrote about at The Huffington Post when she called herself "Susanna Barrett" and linked up with the Eden Wood fame train) and Bravo, so I'm guessing Lifetime is next. I expect more clowning around, with crowns.