Pint-Sized Phenoms: From Playtime to Professional Work

Perhaps it's time to start Carston's art career. In fact, I may be too late if I want him to compete with five-year-old "prodigy" Aelita Andre. Aelita started painting at 22 months. Her "Abstract Expressoinist" work sells for upwards of $10,000. But if you watch this video of her working (and it is clear based on her statements about watching the sun rise and painting for 24 hours that there is some work going on here) you'd be excused if you thought she was simply playing around in her tutu.

In some ways this might be every toddler and small child's dream: get as dirty as you want, take over a whole room of the house, and fling liquid and glitter about. She looks like she's having fun. If there is any phenom in this family it's clearly Aelita's parents who have some savvy marketing and sales skills.

Given the focus on early achievement and profits it's hard to imagine that Aelita would ever act as selflessly as Meghan Vogel. Vogel, a high school junior in Ohio, made headlines for helping a fellow competitor cross the finish line-- in front of her-- at the state track meet.

Just when you think youth sports have become too professionalized and focused on winning at all costs, a story like this comes along to remind you that they also are a site of life lessons and uplifting stories.

When genuine prodigies come along, like golfer Andy Zhang who made the cut to play in last week's U.S. Open at just 14, it's not as hard to celebrate them. Especially when their parents don't seem overly pushy; Zhang's father actually told him he shouldn't expect to make the cut and so shouldn't fly from Florida to California (note that in the linked New York Times article, the father of another pint-sized phenom, Lexi Thompson, is quoted). Zhang, who spent much of his childhood in China, now lives and trains in Bradenton (presumably at IMG Academies, which I've also written about before).  Seems like we'll be hearing much more from him in the future.

His talents are clearly immense enough to make him a professional at an early age (though not as early as Aelita Andre's).  We can only hope his love for playing the game helps give him an attitude as wonderful as Vogel's.

The Need for Parenting Credentials?

While most of us spent yesterday celebrating fathers we seem to spend the rest of the year placing parents under a microscope.  So far in 2012 we've heard about why French parents are superior and why you aren't good enough if you aren't a breast-feeding mom.  And those are just the major headlines. Yesterday The Boston Globe Magazine ran an excellent piece on spanking, along with a well-researched timeline on the history of discipline in Massachusetts (though I do wish they had defined "spanking" more clearly-- is it over the clothes, using a strap, etc.).  The author, James Burnett III, starts by explaining how closeted spanking is and how many parents would not even consent to be interviewed.  He even compares the shame associated with spanking to extended breastfeeding.

This feature was especially timely given another story that made the rounds last week: Mom Carla Williams, of Lowell, MA was arrested after punching her 10-year-old daughter in the nose.  Williams claimed that she could discipline her child any way she saw fit.  The law disagrees, of course.  In a TV appearance on NECN's Morning Show and a radio appearance on WBZ's NightSide last week I explained why Williams is wrong-- mainly because you should think of discipline as child abuse if you bruise, break bones, or draw blood. You can see my clip below, and read more of my thoughts which are part of the article on their website, "Fallout after Lowell, Mass. mother accused of punching her child."

Both discussions were framed around the challenging question of whether or not we should license people to be parents.  This would be difficult for all sorts of legal and historical questions, as I mentioned, but it is worth pointing out that there is one instance where we do in fact require parents to be licensed: adoption.  Adults who want to adopt go through a rigorous process to prove their worthiness and capabilities.  In many instances age (at the upper bound), sexuality, race, education, and class come into play and worthy people are dismissed.  These are people who would more than likely make excellent parents if they could conceive on their own.  They would almost certainly be better parents than Carla Williams and Tuan Huynh, a Pennsylvania father who was recently sentenced for abandoning his 16-year-old daughter 14 miles away from her home after she failed calculus.  Huynh, who clearly wants the best for his daughter in terms of her education, didn't have the best parenting education himself; now he'll have to take parenting classes that clearly would have been helpful before this tragic incident.

Also, as more and more details of abuse emerge from the ongoing Jerry Sandusky trial, it's worth remembering that youth sports coaches also don't have to be certified to work with kids (Note that I wrote in that piece, "Sadly, nail salons are better regulated and have more safety requirements than programs where children can suffer catastrophic physical and emotional injury."  In Sunday's New York Times Magazine Jacob Goldstein wrote an interesting article on efforts to loosen restrictions on cosmetology licenses in various states. A diverse group are backing these efforts, which this far have not been successful.  I wish more would focus on licensing those who work with children and worry less about licensing or not licensing those who braid hair). As long as children are accused of "asking for" sexual abuse, as this story about an Indiana high school student who was raped by her volleyball coach suggests, it's clear we need better education not just for kids and coaches, but for parents as well.

No parent is perfect and we all can use more knowledge and education.  But no adult should abuse a child in any way and legally get away with it.  No matter what their credentials say.

Tiger Teachers: The New Stage Moms Aren't the Moms (from Huffington Post Culture)

This originally appeared in The Huffington Post's Culture Section. Write a bad mommy confessional and be rewarded with multiple weeks on bestseller lists, riches, and fame/infamy. (See: Chua, Amy [Tiger Mom]; Druckerman, Pamela [American mom, French parenting]; Weiss, Dara-Lynn [Diet Devil in Vogue]).

And then there are the television shows. In the grand tradition of stage mothers we have the women of Toddlers & Tiaras, along with Dance Moms and Dance Moms: Miami. Is it any surprise that Skating Moms is in the works? And that the mothers on these shows are getting wackier and wackier to secure appearances on TMZ and Anderson Cooper in order to claim their 15 minutes of fame? Or, better yet, the holy grail -- their own television shows (like two Toddlers & Tiaras break-out stars: Eden Wood with her Logo network show Eden's World and Alana Thompson, aka "Honey Boo Boo Child," who has just inked a deal for a family reality show on TLC)!

Despite their extreme antics at this point it's a total cliché to criticize these moms. The people who really should make us scratch our heads are the other adults involved: the teachers and coaches.

Now, Abby Lee Miller, the larger-than-life teacher of Dance Moms, helps give female coaches a bad name. While she has surely amplified some of her behavior for the cameras you still can't help but wince as she verbally berates young girls, puts them in completely age-inappropriate attire, and shows them how to "paint on" a six-pack so they look more slender on stage.

Miller's actions have impacted other teachers and coaches. Prominent, successful, competitive dance teachers are appalled by her behavior. In addition to being embarrassed by a member of their own profession, they have seen changes in their enrollments and in their students' behavior, along with that of the children's moms. Let's just say that drama and raised voices seem to be becoming normalized.

While Abby Lee Miller isn't the first teacher or coach to over-invest in her students (watch the US gymnastics championships this weekend to catch a glimpse of coaching legends like the Károlyis -- and then read Dominique Moceanu's new memoir, out next week, to discover what a negative impact coaches like that can have on a child's life), Miller certainly is popularizing the role. In many ways she's the new version of a "stage mom."

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The most recent episode of Dance Moms, "The Battle Begins," has Abby shouting multiple times that her students need to do well because they are associated with her and "her name." With kids' afterschool activities becoming increasingly professionalized, more and more people (both good and bad) can make a living off of children's performances. This means they can easily become too invested both financially and emotionally.

So in many cases teachers and coaches are the new "stage moms," using kids who aren't their own to secure their own fame and fortune. Forget the Tiger Mom, now we have Tiger Teachers eager to catch the glare of the spotlight. Too bad we can't all get a Coach Taylor for ourselves and for our kids. In the meantime, beware of Tiger Teachers seeking high fees and reality television shows.

A New England Beauty Queen: Miss Rhode Island wins Miss USA at Last

The drought is over. It's been 61 years and Rhode Island finally got a Miss USA (note they haven't yet had a Miss America). Last night Olivia Culpo was crowned Miss USA.

I had a lot of fun watching the pageant (and live tweeting) and RI was a standout from the beginning. Her gown was gorgeous, especially the color-- as was her face-- and she answered her final question with aplomb.

What was that final question? It was about the pageant, of course. If you recall a few months ago the Miss Canada Pageant had to deal with controversy when a transgendered contestant was first denied and then reinstated as a competitor (I wrote about this and linked to some press coverage here). So Culpo was asked, "Would you feel it would be fair for a transgender woman to win the Miss USA title over a natural-born woman?" Her response: "I do think that that would be fair, but I can understand that people would be a little apprehensive to take that road because there is a tradition of natural-born women.  But today where there are so many surgeries and so many people out there who have a need to change for a happier life, I do accept that because I believe it’s a free country."

The whole Miss USA Pageant this year was both meta and self-referential. It was a pop culture smorgasbord with too many reality television stars to count. On the judges' panel alone there was a Kardashian, an Apprentice, a Bachelorette-- need I go on? And Giuliana Rancic of E! and her own reality show fame (note she married another reality TV star, Bill Rancic, Trump's first winner of The Apprentice) along with Andy Cohen, Bravo exec and host of Watch What Happens Live!, co-hosted.  Rancic wore three dresses, one with an aspirational Jolie leg slit; needless to say, in general, her dresses dominated the questionable pageant styles donned for the telecast (particularly the Sherri Hill monstrosities "modeled" during the Parade of States).

The final questions were the real pop culture test. Out of the five three referenced pageantry-- the transgendered contestant query for RI, another mentioning Toddlers & Tiaras, and the most amazing referred to an embarrassing clip from Cohen's WWHL that showed several contestants unable to name Biden as the VP (and the contestant explained how the girls just "misanswered").  One of the others about women in movies and TV made a strange reference to Pretty Woman, which also has a T&T link after Paisley appeared in her "prostitot" streetwalker costume.

Not nearly as bad as the Miss SC Teen fiasco from a few years ago though (to relive that gem, click here).

I do have to say that I hated it when the outgoing Miss USA pulled out a "factoid" that is meant to apply to the Miss America Pageant (although, statistically speaking, I suppose it could apply to both pageants). Alyssa Campanella said that parents have a better chance of having a son play in a Superbowl than a daughter who wins Miss USA. I've been using this for some time (I first wrote about it in 2007) and I know it is supposed to refer to Miss America. Let's keep our pageant systems straight ladies!

The next stop for Olivia Culpo won't be a return to her dorm room at Boston University-- at 20 she just finished her sophomore year.  Instead she'll be in New York starting to make appearances and prepare for Miss Universe.  Despite Culpo's beauty it's hard to imagine that she'll be able to stand up with the tall international queens, but you never know! I'm curious why she opted for Miss USA and not Miss America (given that she has a talent beyond being able to tie a cherry stem with her tongue, which is playing the cello).  Pageant watchers, was she "too beautiful" for the Miss America system? In any event, she's ended her state's drought and taken her own rightful place in the pop culture pantheon.

Shrinking and Pinking: Chic and Unique Female Athletes

I must confess that when I started reading this month's Vogue I did not expect to read about a motocross racer.  Maybe in Sports Illustrated-- but Vogue? Just goes to show that female athletes are everywhere these days, showing excellence in various sports and reaching wider audiences than ever before. 21-year-old Ashley Fiolek is the motocross racer featured in Vogue (and, yes, you should say its name with all the reverence of Carrie Bradshaw).

What's remarkable about Fiolek is not just that she has won the Women's Motocross Championship three times in four years, but that she has done it as a deaf competitor (especially in a sport like motocross, where most riders use sound to judge when they should shift gears, as the article explains). Let the record show that she also knows how to model a dress in boots.

Another woman who rocks is Katherine Legge.  Legge just finished 22nd at the Indianapolis 500-- she's only the ninth female ever to qualify to race at Indy. What really helps her speed away as a shrinking and pinking maverick is that she is the first driver to ever bring an all-female squad with her.  Clearly women do know how to change tires.

Ariel Hsing and Reed Kessler are two teenagers striving to make their own historic mark on sport.  At 16 and 17 respectively look to see them on your television screens in a few months during the London Olympics.  Hsing recently qualified for the Olympics in table tennis.  But note that she still managed to attend her prom (even if her dress shopping was a bit rushed, as she details on her entertaining blog over at ESPNw).  Kessler is still working to be named to the Olympic team. If she does she'll make history as the youngest rider in Olympic show-jumping history. Kessler's competition includes women more than twice her age, along with Bruce Springsteen's daughter. I suppose if they both make it "Born in the USA" takes on a new meaning.

I love that female athletes in such varied sports are getting media attention, which can help motivate and inspire younger girls to find a sport and passionately pursue a dream.  Who knows, they may even end up in the Vogue shoe closet someday (hopefully without an older man in boxers).